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To Be Kissed on New Years 2013

Copied from: statueforum.com


First off let’s start with God-willing I will be alive and well to see 2013. This world is becoming so crazy to the point of going to a movie theatre can be detrimental to you health or life.  So let’s begin – No, this is not the blog version of the movie “Never Been Kissed.” This is actually me trying to take dating into my own hands and becoming more proactive.

No, this is not a “need to be married in a few months” thing either, it’s just a personal goal. When I say kiss, I mean by a guy I really dig (do people still say dig?). Not some random dude or some drunk guy but by Mr Nice-Who-Has-Some-Long-Term-Potential.

So why this goal? I am playing catch-up to all the go-getter women. I was taught that if you ‘hang back’ the dude will come. Well, coming from a conservative environment, this is the prevailing thought that is not working so well for me-now that I am actually putting some effort into my social life. What have I been doing all this time? Working and enjoying life as a single gal trying to get her career going. So, I have spent 30 odd years focusing on enjoying and career. This has only led me here without a career (left the one I spent time cultivating) and trying to find new ways to enjoy things (and not as a I-am-independent-single-woman).

I am ready to take this relationship, commitment and think-about-someone-else thing seriously. Apparently, I missed the ‘man focused boat’ in my earlier years and has now caught it in my mid-late 30’s. I guess better late than never. The thought of curling up with a cat or dog as I age is not that appetizing.

So, since I have caught the ‘man focused boat,’ I have decided to set some social goals and is hoping to snag a decent chap by the end of the year. Note I did not say marry or engaged or anything that committal. I might be playing catch-up with the rest of the liberal ladies but I am not desperate. I am motivated to make this work because it’s just time and I suspect that people might think I am secretly gay. So I am hoping to avoid any awkward conversations/explanation as to why I am still single   🙂

Do I have a potential victim…ummm… guy in mind? There is one but I am keeping my options open. The problem with being proactive is not knowing if the guy will be turned on or off with a woman being ‘forward.’ Despite all that, I have decided to play it by ear but sooner of later my dominant personality (can’t do the damsel in distress character for too long) will come out and I will be able to separate the alfa men from the beta boys.

Happy hunting to me.

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Trying to Bring Sexy Back

Women! Women! Women! So much is placed on our shoulders. We need to be everything to everyone at everyone hour. The sad  part is that we try to achieve such an unrealistic feat. Looking and feeling sexy is what the media and men tend to sell to us average girls. This is not to say that feeling sexy is not a good thing – that’s why Victoria’s Secret is still in business after all these years. It’s the endless pursuit of finding our sexy time and time again.

As women, we are tasked with the job of being the pretty one – pretty in today’s language means sexy. So how in heaven’s name are we suppose to be sexy all the time? How do we bring our sexy back? Let’s face it ladies frumpy and boring does not catch the eye of the guy across the room and it does not keep the interest of the man sitting right in front of us.

Here are some subtle arsenal for the women like myself who find it an arduous chore to find and keep our sexy

1.  If you hate wearing lipstick, then find a shiny subtle colour infused lipgloss. Add a lip liner for some emphasis

2. Do something different with your hair. Instead of a bun maybe a french braid with a cute little hair accessory

3. Instead of walking hunched looking at the floor, lift your head up walk with a slight swing to hips. How sexy is that!

4. For women like myself who love flat sandals, wearing heels are torture. Try medium height wedge shoes for some lift. Or buy a pair of dressy sandals with a cute design.

5. Give ill-fitted clothes a break. Buy a pair of pants or shirt that accentuates your curves and breasts (I did not say slutty tight).

6. Adventure in colour. Add some fun colours to your shirts and that way you will still be able to keep your bottoms in your usual tame safe colours.

7. Speaking of Victoria’s… pick up a nice silk or satin sleepwear and put the cottons to bed for one night.

I have realized that very simple changes can definitely make me feel a little sexier whenever I am in the mood to bring my sexy back.


The Guys Who Just Stare

(copied image: google search)

Available single women are constantly placed in difficult positions. We never know whether a guy wants us to make the first move or sit and wait patiently until he gets the nerve to say hi. Some men seem to have the confidence thing down to a science while the majority can’t seem to find their ‘man card.’  In this modern-day where there are no really clear male or female roles, it’s hard to tell what the women should do in the staring contest situation. You guys know what I am referring to when you sit across the room or table or whatever and you keep looking at a particular woman. You take advantage of every opportunity to stare at her (and she knows it too). You know that there is a mutual stare-like thing going on.

Some men really don’t make the dating situation easy. So guys, what is up with the staring? There is probably not a woman alive who has not experienced a guy’s intense stare or the intermittent stare in her life. Are women suppose to try to decipher what it all means? Is it, a boobs stare? Is it the you are pretty to look at only stare? Is it the I may be interested but am not confident to approach stare? Is it the I want to approach but not the right time stare?

Men should know by now that when women’s minds are left to roam, they wander far and wide which is never good. So would it kill  you modern men to be more confident when it comes to the staring contest? What should women do in such a staring situation? Should we smile? play with our hair? blow an air kiss discreetly? stare back? It really is hard to tell. Then again, a woman can deduce that even if the staring guy is interested and he did not make any move when he had the opportunity, then he clearly is not interested enough.

So the moral of the story is men, the staring contest does not work because the more traditional women. She will just assume you lack the confidence and she will  move on to someone who makes an effort to cross the divide, come up to her and say “hi” So, you lose Mr I-AM-NOT-CONFIDENT-ENOUGH-SO-I-WILL-JUST-STARE-GUY.


Men Risking Women’s Wrath

In the violent age that we live in it seems that men still try to push the limits to incur the wrath of women. Women have been known to be violent when they are jilted or feel that a man has made them look foolish by engaging in infidelity. It was in my lifetime that Ms Bobbitt got her bloody her revenge, the late Left-eye, from the former singing group TLC, torched her boyfriends clothes which spread to his mansion, women taking out billboard ads with the face and number of their cheating spouses or in the recent news a jilted wife defaced her ex’s car and threw his clothes out on the lawn.

The point is women can be very vengeful and it is not always pleasant. A warning for some men is to tread lightly because you never know how ugly the woman might become when she is very very pissed off.

The scene that stopped traffic. (Duluth News Tribune)


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Car Care: Don’t You Hate When You Are Wrong

While I was out and about, I could not help but noticed that my once shiny dash is looking a little dry and dull.  I am usually diligent in my car care to make sure she looks her best even though my baby is going on 7 years old. As a girl I have noticed that I don’t usually see many females at the do-it-yourself car wash nor do I see many girls going the extra mile to make sure the car looks shiny and new. It is not that I have a woman-car love relationship going on like most men but I just like my property to be in good order. I keep her looking so great that even after I had her for 5 years, people use to tell me that my car still had the new-car smell.

Scratching My Baby

Anyway, it had been a few months (the longest she had ever been neglected) since I paid any attention to my 4-cylinder great gas mileage girl and thought it was a perfect time for some minor detailing.  After noticing that my car care supply was out of the spray Armor All (the wipes are utterly useless), I was in a hurry to get to the store and get started on making her interior look shiny and pretty again. Unfortunately, as I was leaving the drive way, I underestimated (and ignored my caution warning) how close I was to the stone wall and heard a distressing scratch from the passenger’s side bumper. I quickly step on the brakes and made the decision to reverse the car to avoid any more damage  or crush the bumper. While trying to reverse, I felt a little resistance and feared that if I pushed it, I might lose my entire bumper (which would make the scratch seem minor). So, using my best judgement, I just kept going forward and hoped that the damage was not too bad.

Scratched Bumper

Well luckily it was not too bad at all and my baby suffered a few scratches at my hands: the first since I bought her new. This is the first time there has been such a mishap with my baby but the bumper is still in tact. Anyway, she did get her Armor All shine, and a headlight cleaning (those restore your headlight products actually worked! I was presently surprised that I did not waste my $6). The moral of the story is if you have any doubt that you may not clear your car in a tight situation, then listen to your gut. I wonder if those scratch removers actually work?


Is There a Point to Being a Manwhore


When Britney Spears belted the tune ‘Womanizer,’ most women can probably relate to her lyrics. Many women know the words to ‘I Will Survive’ by heart, because it’s both catchy and again many women can empathize. I can’t say I know heartache through those kinds of experiences but I have run into a few males who have embodied the role of the womanizing manwhores.

When men boys are growing up, they are regaled with stores of the ideal man who is able to pull off juggling a few women at a time without commitment. His self-esteem is boosted by terms like conquests, notches on bed post, hit that, a piece of tail (is that term still in use?) etc to emphasize what behaviours are expected towards women. I am aware of the cultural acceptance but disagree that boys will be boys and they somehow need to sow their wild oats. However, what happens when these boys are no longer in their twenties? By the age of 30 a boy should, let me put that in caps, SHOULD start to see his balls drop, and hair growing and brain expanding into a man but for some reason even that process is being delayed by a few more decades.

These delayed boys are now considered men but they have not shed their boyish ways. There a passage in the bible that states ‘when I was a child, I … as a child, but now I am a man, I put away childish things,” however, this seems to not be the case when it comes to boys learning to respect WOMEN. So, as a female (if you could not tell), I would like to know what is so fascinating with being a womanizing manwhore? Is it the ability to have sex with different people? Is it the ability to avoid emotional connection? Is it fear of growing up and being responsible? Is it a missing treat-women-with-respect chromosome? Oh, I get that women allow this nonsense to happen but that’s for another rant.

The funny thing about these manwhores is that they have a problem with an issue summed up by another bible passage ‘eye for an eye.’ Most manwhores seem to become very riled and almost possessive if they believe their woman is sleeping around. For some reason, her vagina is no longer as valuable, while their roaming penis is always priceless. While I do not agree with the former Mrs Lorena Bobbit’s actions (look her up for you younger readers), but it does show that a woman scorned can be very deadly or at least maiming.

The nasty practice of being disrespectful to women is indeed a very childish behaviour, case in point, it’s like a little boy pulling a little girl’s hair or punches her because he likes her or hates her (it’s hard to tell but either way it still hurts). Real men actually do put away childish things and behaviors and recognize there is more to life than putting a new notch on your bed post. Real men recognize the value of themselves first and then by doing so recognize the value of their partners.

Unfortunately, as the years past, it seems that the process of boys turning into men is being delayed significantly. So, when the men are actually ready to be grown ups, they are so old to the point of deciding whether they should take their heart medications or Cialis. It is also sad because at by that age, they are starting to look at the younger female population in an effort to reclaim their youth but this time in a monogamous relationship. They are also starting to realize the value of companionship and the need for someone to change their adult diapers if necessary. One of things that my mother use to say is ‘if you do something right the first time then you do not have to redo it’ – A good lesson for the over 30 boys who are delaying their journey to manhood.

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Owners Bad Pet Etiquette = My Dislike for Cats and Dogs

(Copied image)

Growing up  outside of the US, I was not indoctrinated to the reasons why people have such an affinity for pets ie. dogs and cats. Majority of my childhood households did not have pets at all, the ones that did had certain restrictions for their animals. The dogs were always outside dwellers in a kennel or their little spot on the verandah. The dogs were able to poke their noses inside the main house but not set foot inside. The dogs were treated very well but their domain was outside and definitely no where on any furniture. The cats, on the other hand, had more run of the house if they were house cats. There were two kinds of kitty – house kitty and outside kitty. The name indicates their designated dwellings. The house kitties were allowed on specific furnitures and were taught, even though they were sometimes defiant, to stay clear of certain things. Like the dogs, they  had their scratching posts and sleeping area.

I would watch some American shows and see that the house pets had their way with everything which did not sit well with me. Afterall, I thought that was just in the movies and in real life things were different. My first introduction to animals in the American home was very distressing – by any standards. Many years ago I was visiting my sister’s friend’s sister’s (got that!) home. Just the smell alone before you entered was atrocious (not exaggerating). The house was crawling (literally) with cats. They were everywhere like a cat infestation. Amidst the feline takeover, there was either 1 or 2 larger dogs and one of which appears to have pink eye (or maybe that was normal – I don’t know). It was all I could do to not jump out of my skin and run for the door screaming, I did not want the sole of shoe touching the ground – totally disgusting. I remember pet owner offering us something to drink (I think I was about to barf) and we all politely refused. Needless to say, we got out as soon as possible without being rude. So that experience with animals inside the house was not good.

My other experiences with animals came when I had to visit clients in their homes for a former job. The first few days on the job, one of the ladies informed me that a “yipping dog” bit her ankle and the owner did not do anything. The thought that came to my mind was not a pleasant one which included me defending my ankle with a swift kick. I was reminded of the one instance as a teen that a cat surprised me by jumping on my lap and I automatically threw the cat across the room. Kitty landed on her feet but she never surprised me like that again and I did feel bad for throwing her because I had become accustomed to her.

The issue is that I do not hate animals in general but I do hate when they invade my space to touch me. It’s the cat rubbing itself against me or the dog’s wet nose that leaves a spot on my clothes or some other form of unwanted contact or the watching three Mastiffs run towards you at full speed or the Danes that tries to jump on you. A friend once told me that the house animals are attracted to me because they know I dislike their close proximity. The other reason why I absolutely have an ongoing dislike for house animals is because of the owners. Pet owners seem to believe that everyone shares their love of animals and they politely ignore  you when you say something specific like “I am not fond of animals” or “I am not a lover of animals” and they respond with ‘ oh he does not bite” or “she is harmless.” All this conversation is usually going on while the dog is jumping all over you and the kitty is clawing your skirt and the owner sits there looking at you or says “stop that (insert animal name)” while not getting up to intervene.

My biggest pet peeve is that if you are a pet own who invites someone into your home, then be courteous to put the animals away if the person expressed that they do not like animals. Is that so hard???  I think I am usually more annoyed with the pet owners because they don’t realize how much their pets’ social behaviors freaks me out especially those charging dogs. I am not opposed to being friend to your animals. I have been known to pet a boa constrictor, a muzzled wolf-dog combination, and sit on horses for trails rides. Heavens! I would love to pet a tiger. The difference between those animals and the house pets are that the pets tend to impose on your space first and don’t allow you the human to warm up to them.  I can’t say I understand this bond between wo/man and animals despite having a few friends who consider their pets a part of the family. I certainly can’s say I understand the whole cat and dog thing on your furniture and especially in your bed (yuck!); however, I respect their human-pet practices and my friends respect my adverse reactions to their animals which is all I request.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN HURTING ANIMALS except in self-defense. I am always on guard with animals especially dogs since that attempted sneak attack and near biting incident when I was a kid. I have on occasions gently but forcefully pushed the animals away from me with my foot when the owners are not looking.  It also depends on the home owners surroundings in which you  really don’t want to make contact with anything in the house. In the recent years, I have not had to throw any animals since that incident years ago but am not averse to such reactions if startled or in defense mode. Maybe I have watched Cudjoe and Pet Sematary one too many times to believe that cats and dogs are “just harmless.” My philosophy is if your pet have teeth and claws, then they are not harmless. I do see the benefit of having an animal around and I am happy for those dog and cat lovers; however at this time, I think if I had to choose then I would get a horse.